A fun way to sample new books and find new writers! Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…
The luxury ship Nebula Dream has suffered a middle of the night catastrophe in space. My hero, Nick Jameson, has fought his way to the nearest lifeboat and found chaos. Some creative editing and punctuation has occurred. As he’s just about finished loading the lifeboat, businesswoman Mara Lyrae arrives, much to his relief. But she refuses to get on the lifeboat, as there are children in need of rescuing…after a brief argument, Nick sends the lifeboat on its way. He and Mara set out to rescue the children, accompanied by Khevan, a D’nvannae Brother (think bodyguard/assassin sworn to serve an alien goddess).
This snippet is after they’ve reached the family’s cabin and discovered a growing hull breach. Nick and Khevan are working to clear a path through the debris trapping the children while Mara holds an emergency light on the area and tries to keep the children calm. Paolo, the 8 year old, is speaking.
“Did you – did you see my dad anywhere?”
Mara sighed. Taking a deep breath, she answered cheerfully, even while making a sad-faced grimace to Nick. “No, sweetheart, I didn’t find him, but I’ve got the next best thing out here – a Special Forces captain and a D’nvannae Brother. Exactly like in an adventure holo – they came for you and Gianna.”
“And Mommy.” The boy’s voice wavered.
Hand to her mouth, Mara nodded, “Yes, they’re here to help your mother, too.”
The Story
Traveling unexpectedly aboard the luxury liner Nebula Dream on its maiden voyage across the galaxy, Sectors Special Forces Captain Nick Jameson is ready for ten relaxing days, and hoping to forget his last disastrous mission behind enemy lines. He figures he’ll gamble at the casino, take in the shows, maybe even have a shipboard fling with Mara Lyrae, the beautiful but reserved businesswoman he meets.
All his plans vaporize when the ship suffers a wreck of Titanic proportions. Captain and crew abandon ship, leaving the 8000 passengers stranded without enough lifeboats and drifting unarmed in enemy territory. Aided by Mara, Nick must find a way off the doomed ship for himself and several other innocent people before deadly enemy forces reach them or the ship’s malfunctioning engines finish ticking down to self destruction.
But can Nick conquer the demons from his past that tell him he’ll fail these innocent people just as he failed to save his Special Forces team? Will he outpace his own doubts to win this vital race against time?
Oh wow. Lots of emotion packed in that one. How do you not let on to a child what is really happening? Well done Veronica.
I wonder where the dad is. I feel like something happened to his mother. This is so terrible. I’m glad Mara is with that kid.
This sounds so dire, it sounds as if the mother is beyond help and who knows what happened to the father in all of the chaos… Very emotional and gut-wrenching. Well done.
🙂 I LOVE this book. Perfect inspiration from Titanic. Wonderful choice, Veronica!
Thanks, Teresa, I’m so glad you enjoyed the book 🙂 HUGS!
This was so emotional. It really caught me off guard. Your writing is powerful and engaging. Great stuff 🙂
I worry about this kids….you make me worry in between snippets. Fantastic tension.
Oh, I can just hear the little voice – And Mommy. Heartbreaking.
Tweeted.
Well, I was worried last week, and guess what? I’m still worried! 🙂 I have a feeling the little one already knows what’s going on with Mommy. Poor little thing. Great eight, as usual!
So much emotion in this scene. Wonderful writing.
Strong emotions jumping off the page. I love how Mara compares the events to an adventure holo. Great 8.
Fast thinking on her part. I didn’t peg Mara as a motherly type- this snippet adds dimension to her character as well as ratcheting up the emotion. Well done.
Such a sweet little scene, got my emotions all worked up. I want to hug that little boy!
Kids often know a lot more than they let on, in spite of their innocence. This child probably is aware of more too, even if he doesn’t understand all the details.
Veronica, you make me cry with this eight. Parents probably gone and who’s to take care? Having read your books, you’ll make it work. Thanks. I hope all is better with you. No more adventure to the ER?
Thanks, Char! Yes, I’ve been away from the hospital and the ER for almost two weeks now – yay! I’m very hopeful….
I’ve read the book, but this reminds me why I read it twice. 🙂
Twice! I take that as a high compliment, thank you!
Emotive snippet, bitter sweet scene.
I hope they find at least one of the parents. 🙁
Sad snippet. How terrified all the children must be.
The kids are trying so hard to be brave.
Excuse me, Veronica: I have to go hug my kids now. . .
Hugs to everyone (and their children as the case may be)! I appreciate the comments…my toughest critic to date, I think, was an 8 year old boy, whose Mother read him the book, properly abridged for his age, and he said I got Paolo exactly right and also promptly went off and started writing his own space adventure! I took both of those as high compliments 🙂 Well, this book was based on Titanic so I tried to include all the elements, including separated family members and children who needed to be rescued. As I’ve said before, Paolo and Gianna are my heartfelt tribute to the lost 3rd Class children on Titanic.
I loved this book and read it in record time.
Thank you very much, so glad you enjoyed it!
I think their mom might be beyond help… which will be terrible to explain to the kids. Fingers crossed that she’s still alive!
A lot of emotions going on! Great snippet.
What a emotional scene! I just want to give the poor boy a hug.
such a hard moment. The kids are scared and don’t understand what is happening. It’s hard to lie to them about their parents, but in the current situation, they need reassurance more than the truth.
You do so well to capture the emotion in this scene. I can’t imagine how frightened the children must be but their bravery shines through too. Very well-written, Veronica! 🙂
Hopefully Mara will be able to deliver some good news to poor little Paolo. Great snippet-very intriguing!
Nice, you brought it a powerhouse of emotion with Paolo asking about his parents and Mara’s response to those questions. If you’re not concerned at this point you are a robot!
Oh so sad! They tried to distract the little boy with the promise of a new toy, but he can only worry about his mother. I feel for him. Good description on the facial expressions.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta