Weekend Writing Warriors Why Share the Magic?

better wewriwaChanging gears completely from my science fiction novel, here’s an excerpt from my first (and only, so far) paranormal novel with shifters. Unpublished, unedited, don’t know if I’ll get back to it anytime soon although I liked it, it needs a lot of work!

Caitlyn has applied for a place in the Witch  Queen’s court, which requires a demonstration of magic power. She’s nearly failed the test when a mysterious boost of power comes to her surreptitiously from a watching shapeshifter guard. The Queen accepts her as an apprentice and Caitlyn is dismissed from the chamber so another woman can be tested. We start with the last of Caitlyn’s POV, then move to the shifter’s as the next scene starts in the novel.

Why had he chosen to help her eke past the test? It worried her to be beholden to anyone in this castle, which didn’t strike her as a place where people took action to help one another.

Why did I do that? What does it matter to me if she succeeded or failed? Although it was pleasant to give someone assistance without it being demanded or commanded. The girl had captured his attention from the first moment yesterday, at the welcoming ceremony. She was definitely hiding something, which intrigued his cat. Having a beautiful woman with mystery wrapped about her made the boredom of his servitude recede and he was grateful.

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 I  love and appreciate your comments and feedback! Go here  to find all the other Weekend Writing Warriors and read  an amazing variety of  terrific excerpts…

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48 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors Why Share the Magic?

    • I think I’m trying to convince myself it’s worth picking up again and putting in the work to fix the plot issues etc. I loved the story (what author doesn’t, right LOL?) but it does need *stuff*….thanks for the kind words!

  1. I love that they’re both questioning his motives. It will make them suspicious of each other, which will make for very interesting interactions. Great set-up for their relationship!

  2. I like it! And I’m intrigued. I love how his cat is intrigued. Is that an inner cat? I’m thinking if it is, it’s got to be a big one…

    Also love how you shifted the POV from her to him, particularly since they are both asking the same thing.

    Great job Veronica 🙂

  3. Totally cool. Love the complexity in the details. I am wondering what will happen when the Queen Witch discovers she does not have (as much) magic as she’d thought! Caitlyn may be in over her head.

  4. Love it when they involve a cat 😀 Opening up some dates to host authors on my blog, let me know if you’d be interested! Happy writing and great eight! Meow!

  5. Yes, I like this. Hope you go back to it. It seems you’ve already set up the romance angle so well in just a few sentences. Leopards are always good, too. LOL.

  6. Very cool premise! Love that he’s intrigued by her. I’m equally intrigued by both of them! Can’t wait for more! 🙂

  7. I really appreciate the comments! I feel encouraged (I love this group, hugs!)…the first draft is done but as always it needs more work. Maybe I’ll move it up in my WIP queue though…doing another Egyptian paranormal right now.

  8. Seems to me you should carry on with this wip. I like it But then I’m biased. for my class I’m doing a witch and werewolf type story lol But participating in the A-z challenge and taking a screen writing class leaves no time for WWW Hope to see you on my blog as it travels across the alphabet

  9. thanks Veronica – no things have to be not done like housework and the writing. Also have to entirely re write last project in light of what learning in class. Thanks again

  10. I like the contrast between their POVs. A lot of modern books no longer incorporate that kind of omniscient narration, though it makes for such a richer, more personal story. I love the picture too. There are so many things it could be.

  11. “Intrigued his cat” Oh if that doesn’t sound like one heck of a euphemism! 😉 And she is wise to be suspicious of anyone wanting to help her in a royal court – even if we the reader know the aid is benevolent.

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