Weekend Writing Warriors – Wreck of the Nebula Dream – More Distraught Passenger

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Continuing on with the scene in the shuttle, on the way to the cruise liner Nebula Dream, here’s another excerpt as Nick continues to deal with the distraught passenger who had the premonition of disaster. So far the shuttle is continuing its ascent to the larger ship.  There’s been some back and forth between the crew, Nick and the husband about whether to turn around or not; the other passengers stared and gossiped; her pet came to join them (much to Nick’s annoyance) and now…

The young wife wept, occasionally responding to Nick with broken sentences about her dreams and her unborn child being at risk, to which he told her in halfway fluent dialect she must do what was best for the baby.

She drew in a hissing breath and clutched dramatically at her abdomen, closing her eyes, biting her lip. He raised his voice, and put an edge on it, to cut through the squabble. “Gentlemen, you’d better decide something.”

The husband and the pilot glared at him, both equally annoyed at the interruption.

Nick didn’t care. Events might be about to overtake them. “I’m far from being an expert, but I think she’s going into labor here.”

So, do you think they go back?

The story:

Traveling unexpectedly aboard the luxury liner Nebula Dream on its maiden voyage across the galaxy, Sectors Special Forces Captain Nick Jameson is ready for ten relaxing days, and hoping to forget his last disastrous mission behind enemy lines. He figures he’ll gamble at the casino, take in the shows, maybe even have a shipboard fling with Mara Lyrae, the beautiful but reserved businesswoman he meets.

All his plans vaporize when the ship suffers a wreck of Titanic proportions. Captain and crew abandon ship, leaving the 8000 passengers stranded without enough lifeboats and drifting unarmed in enemy territory. Aided by Mara, Nick must find a way off the doomed ship for himself and several other innocent people before deadly enemy forces reach them or the ship’s malfunctioning engines finish ticking down to self destruction.

But can Nick conquer the demons from his past that tell him he’ll fail these innocent people just as he failed to save his Special Forces team? Will he outpace his own doubts to win this vital race against time?

A note: WRECK was loosely inspired by the events of the Titanic sinking…..

hubble wavy

I love and appreciate your comments and feedback! Go here  to find all the other Weekend Writing Warriors and read  a variety of  terrific excerpts…

WRECK OF THE NEBULA DREAM, a 2013 SFR Galaxy Award winner,  is available for kindle, as an audio book or a paperback at Amazon. The audio sample is here.

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48 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors – Wreck of the Nebula Dream – More Distraught Passenger

  1. I like -halfway fluent dialogue. I agree with Carmen, there’s something about a guy who knows to follow his instincts that’s appealing. This story just took an interesting turn. Nice job!

    • There’s some narrative I skipped, which establishes that Nick doesn’t really think she’s in labor but since he isn’t a medic, who is he to say anything? He thinks she might be faking it to force them to take her back to the planet LOL. Fine with him!

  2. “about to go into labor” is one way to get rid of her back to her bed. It also gives other passengers something interesting to think about. I wonder if any of them ever delivered a baby before and can tell that she is faking. However, they might also want to get rid of her for a breather also.

  3. ono! Great complication. I bet most of the men are going to run around like headless chickens now, but our hero will step up and take charge! Nice excerpt, keeps you engaged.

  4. “clutched dramatically at her abdomen, closing her eyes”
    Hmmm..the way you describe this – especially your choice of “dramatically” makes me think she’s faking this…this distances me from her character as well – if that’s what you are going for, you nailed it!

  5. I’m thinking if they go back, there’s not much of a story and the woman’s premonition would be wrong. Hmm… Hang on everyone, this ship’s going down!

  6. Just what Nick needs right now! A tough situation to cope and make decisions in, but I’m sure he’ll do it. It will be interesting to find out what decision they do make.

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